Masturbation is considered by many to be the cornerstone of sexual health. Most men believe that they already know everything about their own genitals and sexual response. It’s all out there, boys will be boys, etc. But just because you know how your tools work, doesn’t mean you can build the Eiffel Tower. In fact most men experience a fraction of their full erotic and orgasmic potential. Read on for simple and fun tips on how to masturbate for men.
Time Required: Male masturbation doesn't have to always be a "quick affair". Take your time and enjoy.
Here's How:
1. Make time for more than a quickie.
Most guys first learn to masturbate in secret and furtive ways. They do it quickly and need to figure out what to do with the evidence afterward. This can create a powerful pattern of masturbating quickly, without paying attention to where your sexual arousal can take you. To start exploring something different, make sure you have some extended time and privacy for yourself, where you aren’t trying to finish quick before someone interrupts.
2. Turn off the porn (just for a while) and tune into your body.
Not everyone likes porn, but a lot of guys do, and while porn can be great, it also takes you out of your body a bit with the fantasy. This can distract you from what’s actually happening in your body. You don’t need to throw the porn away, but for a few times, masturbate without porn, and objectify yourself for a change!
3. Do a…dry…run through.
Bad pun aside, it’s a good idea to try the above suggestions, and then just masturbate as you normally would. As you do this pay attention:
* Changes in your breathing: Does it become shallow and quick, slower and deeper?
* Changes in your body: is there tension in some places, and relaxation in others? Is this the same every time you masturbate?
* How does it feel just before you have an orgasm?
* How does it feel as you orgasm, and immediately post-orgasm?
4. Time to switch it up.
Men learn early in their lives the most effective way to get themselves off. And most never waver from the utilitarian approach to self love. But sex is less like a well oiled machine, and more like a chaotic food fair, where there is an endless selection of ways to satisfy your appetites. So it’s time to throw a wrench in the works and shake up your routine. Try any combination of the following suggestions:
5. Does your left hand know what your right hand is doing?
Do you always use the same one hand to masturbate? Most guys do. If you’re among them, start with the simple tip of switching hands. It can feel strange at first, the rhythm might be off, it’s almost like sex with someone new for the first time. Enjoy the newness, and see if a new hand can teach an old hand some tricks.
6. Experiment with positions.
If you aren’t an experimental type, it’s time to start. If you’re used to masturbating lying down on your back, try sitting up. If you normally sit in a chair, try standing, or kneeling. As with all these changes, this might feel ridiculous at first, and you’ll probably go back to old faithful, but see what masturbation feels like in different positions, and notice if it brings with it any new sensations.
7. Get your hips moving.
The way your body moves when you masturbate is probably very different from the way it moves when you’re having sex with someone else. Many men don’t move at all when they masturbate. Try to move your hips when you masturbate, simulating the thrusting of intercourse. Notice how moving your hips in different ways can bring you closer to, and at times take you farther away from, the point of orgasm.
8. Use different hand strokes.
Most men learn early on that a vigorous stroke does the trick. This intense up and down stimulation usually ends in a good orgasm. But there are dozens of other strokes that each bring with them different sensations, and different orgasms. Roll your penis in between your hands, moving your hands up and down your shaft. Try using long twisting strokes instead of just up and down. Experiment with different movements, pressures, and speeds.
9. Explore your shaft.
While most of the nerve endings on the penis are at the head, and specifically the frenulum, many men will have spots on their shaft that are unusually sensitive. Try putting one hand at the base of your penis and press it towards your body while experimenting with different hand strokes along the shaft of your penis. Treat this like a treasure hunt, and try to feel the difference between one side and the other, between stimulation near the base and up near the tip.
10. Reach around, yourself.
For many men the balls (testicles) are a very sensitive area that responds well to feelings of touch and pressure. Take your forefinger and thumb and make them in a circle at the top of your scrotum. Gently tug on your scrotum as your masturbating. This is both a way to prevent you from ejaculating and a way to extend sexual feelings in your body. Experiment with other kinds of touch including tickling, scratching, and rubbing.
11. Check out the neighborhood.
While the penis and scrotum tend to be the epicenter of masturbatory attention, if you’re looking to open things up a bit, be sure to take a tour of some other nearby areas. The perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, is very sensitive to pressure and massage, and rubbing it provides external prostate stimulation. Speaking of which, don’t be afraid to explore the anus, both externally and by using a finger for penetration.
12. Bring it all together.
Not everything you try is going to do it for you, but the idea behind the above tips is to try lots of different things, and then incorporate whatever you like into the ways you regularly masturbate. Maybe it’s a different stroke, or position, or breathing technique. Obviously there is no one, correct way to masturbate, and even if you’ve got something that works for you, consider the fact that there could be more out there if you experiment with it.
Tips:
1. Another myth about male masturbation is that you shouldn’t use anything other than you hand. While your hand might be doing the trick, adding some accessories can make the stimulation even more intense, and inspire more creativity with yourself, and with partners.
2. Get a good quality personal lubricant . If it’s only for masturbation you can use something that’s oil based without worrying about condom compatibility. Oil based products are better because they won’t dry up.
3. Add a sex toy into the mix. It might be a vibrator, a dildo, or a cock ring (if you’ve never tried one I recommend trying one on your own before you use it with a partner). Sex toys can add a completely new kind of stimulation, and accentuate the manual stimulation your doing.
Effects of Masturbation
Surprisingly little research attention has been paid to the specific effects of masturbation. The history of masturbation is littered with moral condemnation and scientific inaccuracies regarding its negative effects but thankfully there finally seems to be medical agreement that masturbation is a healthy form of sexual expression, and one with more positive than negative effects.
Still many of us believe the masturbation myths we are raised with, which makes it worthwhile to learn the truth about the effects of masturbation on the body and the mind.
Masturbation can increase self-knowledge:
Sex educators don’t call masturbation the cornerstone of sexual health for nothing. Masturbation is the first, safest, and best way to get to know how your sexual body works. You can learn what turns you on and what doesn’t. You can learn how to give yourself sexual pleasure in a hurry, or when you’ve got nothing but time. As an educational tool, masturbation is better than any textbook, video or website you’ll ever read (that includes this one!).
Masturbation can lead to self-discovery:
Even if you know how to get the job done, masturbatorally speaking, your capacity to feel sexual pleasure is limitless and masturbation is a great way to find new functions for familiar parts. Often when we’re having sex with a partner we might be too self-conscious, shy, or otherwise distracted to pay close attention to what’s happening in our own body. Masturbation, when you’re doing it by yourself, allows you to focus on the subtlety of your own sexual response , and possibly discover things you hadn’t previously realized were part of your sexuality.
Masturbation is nature’s sleep aid:
While thinking about sex might keep you up at night having it, including masturbation, is a great way to deal with insomnia. In a 2000 study of U.S. women, 32% said that in the past three months they masturbated as a way to fall asleep. Whether it’s because of the hormones and endorphins released following orgasm, the benefits of clearing your head, or the mini cardio workout, masturbation that ends in orgasm is a great way to get to sleep without pills, television, or counting sheep.
Masturbation provides pain relief:
Whether you’re experiencing temporary or chronic pain from sore joints, headaches, menstrual cramps, or other causes, masturbation and orgasm can, in some cases, provide natural pain relief. While we don’t know exactly why, research has documented arousal and orgasm resulting in reduced pain thresholds. It’s worth pointing out that for some conditions (like migraine headaches ) orgasm can either reduce the pain or increase it.
Masturbation is a great stress reliever:
Several studies have documented the relaxation effects of masturbation induced orgasm. Aside from the physical benefits, masturbation, when you’re doing it right, is all about “you time” and taking time to focus on yourself is a great way to break up the stress of a busy life. Particularly when used with sexual fantasy, masturbation can be a great escape, a way to let off some steam, and while masturbation alone might not be enough to deal with all the stress in your life, it’s a healthy, free, and non-pharmaceutical tool right at your fingertips (or other body part or sex toy, as the case may be).
Masturbation may offer cancer prevention:
Two recent studies found a link between the number of times a man ejaculates and the likelihood of getting prostate cancer. The prostate gland produces and stores seminal fluid and the fluid can build up in the prostate if a man goes a long time without ejaculating. This build up isn’t always a problem, but in the studies men who ejaculate more were less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer. Another researcher has proposed a theory that orgasm may offer some protective effect against breast cancer via oxytocin released at orgasm.
Sources:
1. Cornog, M. The Big Book of Masturbation San Francisco: Down There Press, 2003.
2. Komisaruk, B., Beyer-Flores, C., and Whipple, B. The Science of Orgasm Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006.
Masturbation Quiz
Test your knowledge of masturbation: http://sexuality.about.com/library/Quizzes/masturbation_quiz/bl_masturbation_quiz.htm
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